The snowday conspiracy

I live just outside of Washington DC, spitting distance from the DC beltway. Like most DCers, I hate the snow (even though I'm a transplant from Illinois, shhh, don't tell my relatives that I've turned against snow.). It's cold and wet and it's a pain in the ass to shovel off my car. Snow does have one advantage, however, and that is that everyone down here freaks out about it. And it always comes at the best times, like on a Sunday night when I have a huge paper due for work and I'm supposed to meet with my advisor in the morning to turn it in and I haven't actually started it yet. These are the times when snow is appreciated. Luckily, here at my fine institute of higher education, snow is no longer necessary to cancel classes! Imagine my surprise when I woke up on the due date of the afformentioned paper of doom, only to find out that the university was closed with less than a centimeter of snow on the ground and perfectly clear roads. Forecasters had predicted the biggest storm of the century (or at least the biggest storm of the weekend)and I woke up to a single cm of snow. Fantastic. And due to predictions of 6-8 inches of snow the university was closed.

This leads me to the only obviously conclusion: forecasters are in cahoots with students. They look so human, standing on TV and pointing at a blue screen with a floating cloud overlay, but really they're nothing more than automatons. And the evil geniuses behind these weather forecasting robots are none other than college students who want the day off so they miss an exam. Why do I know this? Because I'm a college student, and I know that I'll put forth way more effort on a project that gets me out of class for a day than I would for any project involving national security. And I'd be willing to bet that 95% of my classmates would do the same thing. It's the same concept between people spending 10 minutes searching for the remote when they could just get up and change the TV channel. Laziness (err, efficiency?) is the ultimate motivator! And to think the government has been trying to bribe us to work for them in exchanse for mediocre salaries and talk of benefits for some kids I don't have yet. What they really need to do is promise new hires less working time if we're more productive. So if anyone is looking to hire an engineer to work part-time for a full-time salary, you know where to find me. I promise I'll be efficient.

Hugs and kisses,
The Bitter Libertarian