Spring is in the air.

That's right folks, it's springtime, and here in Collegetown, USA, that means drinking on your front lawn in as little clothing as possible. I feel like an old hag writing this entry already, but hello, I am the bitter libertarian, and I'm a graduate student, which immediately ages you by 10 years.

So back to what I was saying...drinking on the front lawn. On the first warm Friday of the semester, I decide to skip out of work a bit early and head home. On my half mile walk home, I passed at least five different beer pong tables. At five different houses. All surrounded by undergrads wearing their best beachwear (because, obviously, when the weather hits 70 it's practically law that you should NOT wear a shirt under any circumstances, no matter how unattractive your body may be [yes, scrawy guy from NY, I'm talking about you, no one wants to see that]).

Congratulations college undergrads, you have finally hit that magical age of 21 (or at least found someone who looks enough like you so that you can pass for 21 if the bouncer doesn't actually look at your ID). While I understand that being 21 can be exciting for the first month or two or sixty, but let's face it, there is absolutely no need to hang out on your front lawn with a beer just to prove that you are, in fact, of legal drinking age. Why? Because everyone turns 21 at some point. This means that you're not special (despite what your mother said, really, being 21 != special).

So, college undergrads, we have established that you are not special and unique just because you can in fact drink beer. So put some damn clothes on and put down the beer, or go back into your houses to spare me the sight of you being pathetic, lest I have to return to my home and drink heavily to forget what kind of town I live in.


Hugs and kisses,
The Bitter Libertarian